Don’t Let Anxiety Win

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Over the last few months, I have heard a lot about the purpose in your writing, why do you write? What is the purpose of your story? And initially I couldn’t see my true purpose. But when I delve deeper into meaning of this, I see the real story here on a personal level. For all that I write, whether its my poetry, children’s book or Young Adult, or even this blog, Its all healing. Writing is healing. It offers me a voice of strength and insight into who I am. I learn so much through my writings.

For me,  my story began with the birth of my first daughter. Without going into too much detail. I had a traumatic labour, something I never dealt with, being a new mum I passed it off and continued with life. But I knew something wasn’t quite right.

It wasn’t until my husband and I started trying for our second child, that things started falling apart. I become anxious, worried, so much so I became physically ill. I thought there was something wrong with me, medically.

Finally, after years of feeling constantly sick, a doctor took me seriously and we discovered through a psychologist that I had an anxiety disorder and PSTD from my labour experience, holding onto feelings of ‘I’m going to die,’ because that’s how I felt. My worry about if something happened to me, who would look after my baby, stayed with me and still plagues me.

So, after my second daughter was born and all went well. I thought all would be okay. But to be honest, I struggled. Being a parent is hard. Really, really hard. So my anxiety became severe again.

Now, it took along time to understand the terrible affects anxiety can have on the physical and emotional body, and it’s not something that I believe ever goes away, entirely. I just learnt how to cope and strategies to deal with it. But, when I look back on my experience I see how much I’ve grown.

It wasn’t until I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and went along to a writers meeting, for the first time. Now to most this may not seem like much, but to me, who was suffering social anxiety found this so terrifying. But looking back it was the best step I could of taken. I was inspired by the writers, I meet like-minded people and I found myself there. I took my writing and myself seriously and went whole-hardheartedly into the writing scene.

I finished writing my YA Fantasy novel, wrote four children’s picture book stories, one of which I’m publishing in the coming months, published a poetry collection Horns and Halo’s and started an author mentorship and in the recent months began working in the publishing industry with my inspirational mentor. Now I am able to help other creatives achieve their publishing dreams.

How much can life change, if you just take the first step…

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